Shall I Be Classy or Trashy?

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Ladies, I want to talk about something that is really important:  BAR SAFETY.  I like to go out and have a few drinks just like everyone else, but I am noticing a high incidence of gals out there who are really not aware of their surroundings, their drinking tolerance, and safety in general.  It's really blowing my mind.  Take it from me, I've been going to bars for over a decade now.  I like to get dressed up, go on the town and have a couple of drinks, but I've seen and heard some things in the last couple of years that scare the crap out of me.  I want to show you how easy it is to avoid bad shit from happening.

1.  Go out in groups.  Never go out alone.  Try to arrive and leave with a group of people you can trust.  This does not make you less of an independent woman.  This makes you a smart woman.  Plus, in this economy, it saves on gas.  On that note . . .

2.  Designate.  It is not that hard to designate a driver or call a cab.  NEVER get in a car with someone who has been drinking and never drive when you are intoxicated.  This sounds like a no-brainer, but when you are drinking, basic logic kinda goes out the window.  Just relax and let that sober-I-gotta-go-to-church-in-the-morning-anyway friend or a taxi driver deal with the logic part and drive you home.

3.  Watch your drink.  This is so important that I'll repeat it until I am blue in the face:  Please, please, please watch your drink.  Even if it is a beer bottle, watch that thing from the moment it is opened until it is in your pretty little manicured hand.  Never set your drink down and go to the bathroom, to fix your shoe strap, or dance.  Don't give it to your best friend who you would trust with more secrets than your hairdresser.  Know why?  Because she is supposed to be watching HER drink.  Take your drink with you wherever you go.  People are scumbags.  People will roofie you.  People will rape you.  Life is not flowers and kittens, ladies.  Watch your drink.

4.  Don't binge.  Along with the plethora of health complications that come with binge drinking, it's just not classy.  My friends and I have a saying where we can judge our limit.  "So are you classy buzzed, or trashy drunk right now?"  Classy is I've had two drinks, can have a conversation, can walk OK in these awesome heels and know my limits.  Trashy is . . I'm winning at beer pong.  Keep it classy ladies. 

5.  Stranger danger.  I am not one to judge when it comes to sexual relations.  Do what you want, just do it smart.  If you are sticking to rule #1 on this list, then you don't have to worry about being alone with a stranger at the end of the night.  However, the safest bet is getting a phone number.  Call me old fashioned, but a phone number can't give you an STD or unplanned anything.  I have a feeling if you are going home with a stranger it may have something to do with #4 on this list and I can almost 100% guarantee you that he is never going to introduce you to his mom as "the girl who beat me at beer pong".  Unless his mom really digs beer pong.  In which case, you've just found your soul mate . . .

I don't mean to spoil your weekend plans.  I'm just being real.  Please, go out, get silly, have fun and make memories.  That's what being young is all about.  Just please be smart about it my independent, Cosmo loving, ladies.

Sincerely,
Nik