"Life's A Dance You Learn As You Go"

I've found myself repeating the same phrase to a couple different people over the past couple of weeks.

"I just think people have to learn their lessons on their own and in their own time."

There is a great deal of truth to this . . . to the woman who knows in her head that the relationship is abusive but stays with him anyway because she fears her heart can't take the break, when in fact, the break is what will make the heart stronger than it ever was.  I know there is no amount of words I can say that will quicken the break or lessen the pain.  I just have to be there for her and support her no matter what she decides.  As a friend, this is hard, but it is also a lesson I must learn.

Another lesson I MUST LEARN is when to let go of a relationship that is dead.  As everyone who has ever lost a relationship knows, it takes on it's own little grieving process.  In my case, the grieving process has dragged on long enough.  I've been in denial, wallowing, crying, begging, why-me-ing since May of 2009.  It is time to stop grieving and to start identifying what I really want from my life.  Also, that I am going to be OK without this person.  It's time . . . so that I can make room for some other lessons, some other people, and some other loves . . . starting with me.

So I guess the next time you are feeling frustrated about where you are in life (like I often do), just remember that we are all here learning our individualized lessons.  No one can force your lessons or determine the pace at which your life will unfold.  It's really up to you.  Nor can you force anyone else (that's the hard one) as a friend, a lover, a parent, or a sibling.  It's frustrating and exhilarating, but that's life--one lesson at a time.

Love always,

Nik

Image: Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net