I Plan on Getting Married This Year

My 30th birthday has come and gone . . . For the most part, last year was pretty good.  Every year around my birthday I start thinking about things that I am thankful for and goals I would like to set for myself.  It's something I do rather than make resolutions on New Year's.

Here are some things that I am thankful for from the previous year:

My Job:  After being laid off, I was unemployed for about a month and then I got a part-time job at a property management place.  I loved the people I worked with, but the job was pretty stressful and I promised myself that I wouldn't work somewhere that I was stressed all the time.  Trust me, having people call up and scream at you on a daily basis was not the most zen part of my job.  Plus, I was still looking for full-time employment.  So, I applied at the Public Library . . . and I got it!  I've been there a year on the 3rd of this month.  It has been the best and most rewarding job I have ever had.  I mean the pay is shit--I'm a public servant--but everything else is so cool it just cancels that out.  Plus, I can always find a second job to make ends meet--I'm no stranger to hard work.

My Perception of People:  Some people have told me that I too often see the good in people who have none--and that this is a bad thing??  I know that I do this, but I think that this is actually GOOD rather than a fault.  I am going to continue to do this.  I think every person has something good in them, buried deep down inside--I just don't need to date them.  I understand that now.  I think that's why people open up to me like they do.  I just need to learn how to filter it and not take it in (or mistake it for intimacy [ha!]).  So, this year, I'm tweaking that filter a bit.

My Muse:  (We all have one.)  This person (and it's not anyone that you would think--they walked into my life long ago) made me grow up and become the woman I am today.  I learned the power of forgiveness from this person.  I had to swallow my anger and turn it into something positive.  I became a better writer and person.  I feel like my personality turned inside out when I met them and my strengths were amplified as were my weaknesses, but both were right up in my face and I had to deal with them.  This person has no idea the impact they had on my life--nor did they have that intention--, but they are my muse and I am thankful for them just the same.


Now, some goals for next year:

Writing:  I write every day, but I never send anything in for publishing anymore.  I suppose I just feel intimidated and it is also hard to know where to start the entire process, plus without an actual agent it's damn near impossible.  But I like a challenge . . . so I'm going for it this year.

Attitude:  Do you find it hard to keep a positive attitude?  I do.  I find myself being negative a lot and it is messing with my life.  I am going to practice thinking more positive thoughts--even toward people who are rude, annoying, or . . . old and insist on talking about my relationship status or lack thereof.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no doormat or pushover.  It's just easier on my soul to project a little love toward these people rather than get all pissed off about something silly.

Marry Dean Winchester:  I know he's fictional.  I'm not delusional.  I'm just in love.  What?

Love,
Nik