Choose Wisely

" For it is better to be alone than in bad company."  

--George Washington

If my relationship history shows you anything, it's that it's taken me a really long time to learn my love life lessons.  Perhaps the best thing I've learned is this:  that being able to choose who we love and spend our time with is the best gift we've been given.  Since we can choose who we love, why on earth would we choose someone who stresses us out, makes us feel bad about who we are or how we feel?  Why, choose someone we want to change or who wants to change us?  And by change someone, I don't mean putting the toilet seat down, or leaving wet towels on the floor.  I also don't mean that you should jump ship at the first sign of stormy weather either.  Just be aware that you get what you settle for.  

We can tell a person how much we need them to change, but if they don't know how, don't want to, or just don't get it, it's time to choose someone else.  And that's the hardest thing to do, I know, but letting go is also necessary for both people to grow.  I've spent too much time in long term relationships hoping the other person would change their toxic behavior for me and then being resentful and angry when they don't.  

I've been through some tough break-ups.  I remember feeling like I did something wrong and questioning why I wasn't good enough for that person, or if I would ever be good enough again?  Looking back on it, those feelings were pretty NORMAL.  I didn't do anything wrong.  I wasn't being too needy, asking too much, or being a crazy lady.  Well, maybe I was, but so what?!  Maybe it just wasn't the right blend of personality quirks for the other person to handle (and vice versa) and THAT IS OK.  

I've learned how important it is to choose someone who adds to my life, someone who doesn't stress me out, someone who makes me feel better and makes me laugh, but most importantly, someone I don't want to change.  I also have to remind myself that it's possible to find this, no matter how long I've waited or how discouraged I get.  

I'm not choosing to settle anymore.  I'm just chillin', drinking some good tea, reading, and being happy by choosing to spend my time with people who makes me feel good, my lovelies.  Life's too short to choose poorly.  

It's pretty simple . . . not sure why I've been making it so hard!

Love,

Nik