Toilet Seat Up or Down

I have these strange times in my life when people come to me for advice.  I get all warm and fuzzy inside when this happens.  The truth is, I can dish out advice, but I have a terrible time following it.  Isn't that always the case though?  Weird.  Anyway, here is a little gem I've found myself repeating over and over again lately.  This is kind of a gross generalization, but I have found that:

Guys are dumb and women are crazy. 

The hard part is finding the perfect amount of dumb or crazy you are willing to put up with.

For example, my guy friend comes to me and says, "So she was yelling at me and telling me how much she hated me.  She's just crazy."  I reply, "Ya.  All women are crazy.  Get used to it.  The key is figuring out if it was too much crazy, or if it was the type of crazy you can handle."  I guarantee you that your mom is crazy, your sister is nuts, even Mother Theresa was a little bonkers (perhaps why she took the nun route?)  Yes.  I just said Mother Theresa was a little crazy.  Deal with it.

Now, dudes . . . dudes are dumb.  I'm not talking about intelligence here.  I'm talking about how they deal with women.  I think women expect men to be mind readers when it comes to emotions.  For the most part, guys do want to make women happy.  I'm pretty sure that men piss women off without even realizing it (FYI:  that's when the crazy switch is flipped on in the female brain).  I'm not excusing their dumbass behavior, I'm just trying to explain/understand it.

If you are reading this and you are a woman thinking to yourself, "I am NOT crazy!"  Um.  Yes.  You.  Are.  Plain and simple.  The faster you accept this, the sooner shit will start making sense.  (Whoa, that's some weird logic.)

If you are reading this and you are a man thinking to yourself, "Well . . . I can be kinda dumb sometimes, but I don't mean to."  Good for you.  Now, put the toilet seat down, please. 

You gotta start somewhere.

Love,
Nik