Good Men Are Still Out There

I used to date a really wonderful man.  I am so happy that we shared that healthy long-term relationship.  I could never have asked for a better partner for those five years of my life.  He was understanding of who I was as a person (even if we didn't agree sometimes), he listened to me, my family loved him, he was good to me, he was uncomplicated and we never fought.  We almost got engaged, but I was young and wanted to experience life on my own, and I truly wasn't in love with him.  So, why did I let him go?  Well, that's the thing.  I loved him very much, but I knew, deep down that I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life with him.  It was nothing he did or didn't do.  It just wasn't right for me at the time.

I often hear women, myself included, complain that there are no good men left.  But, ladies, there are.  He was one of them.  So, when I write entries like "13 Signs You Are Dating A Loser", and I get so many hits from around the world blow up my statistics, I begin to wonder how many other women are going through the exact same thing. 

And that's why I also feel obligated to counter that blog with this one, just to show how wonderful men can be in relationships too.  Not all men cheat, are abusive, or are selfish.  I have seen the good ones.  I've seen it in my friend Melissa's boyfriend Travis--how he is always there to pick up his end of the relationship, and is affectionate, and you can see in his eyes how much he truly cares for her.  My favorite thing he does is compliment her.  He always says things like, "Melissa is really good at . . ." or "Have Melissa tell you about that . . .". 

If you have one of the good ones, give him a hug and a big kiss--you are very lucky (even if he leaves the toilet seat up and watches Sports Center when you want to go to sleep.)  And if, like me, you just came out of a bad relationship, remember your Dad or your Step-Dad (mine fell in love with my mom after she was divorced with two young children--that takes a special kind of man) or your Brother, or even your Grandpa.

Good men are still out there . . . They are just waiting for you to heal and then come find them.

Love always,
Nik