#1 offer to pay for your part of the meal, and
#2 not feel bad if he pays and yes, it's OK to be slightly miffed if he doesn't.
On a side note: In casual conversation if your date says: "I don't leave my house a lot because I am a pretty big deal in this town." Politely excuse yourself to go to the restroom. Instead go directly to the restaurant bar. Take a shot of something very strong. Return to table. Say nothing, casually pick up your things, and LEAVE! Let him worry about the check. TRUST ME.
Anyway, don't get me wrong, I know that it is 2011 and not 1950. I am an independent woman. I can buy myself dinner. But when a guy asks me out on a date, I expect a little chivalry, damn it. I mean, if this is our second or third date, then hell yes I will help out with the tab, but the first date is the time for both people to be on their best behavior! You like each other--that's why your there in the first place.
It seems like when the check comes (on bad dates) the internal communication gets scrambled. I.E., . . .
"certain guys": "Why the hell should I pay just because I am the guy?" or "If I buy her dinner will she expect me to do it all the time?"
The woman's perspective: "If I let him pay, will he think I will expect him to do this all the time. I can afford to pay for myself." or better yet "I hope he doesn't think I'm too needy or something because I'm letting him pay for my dinner" blah blah blah.
Recently, my friend went on a first date and when the check came, the man-child honestly looked at her and asked if they were going "dutch" on dinner. I countered her "dutch" story with my "worst date ever story". Guy asks me out. Guy has the personality of balsa wood. Guy then has ME pay for the WHOLE dinner plus his four drinks. When dropping intoxicated guy off at his house after the date, I lean in for a hug and he tries to kiss me, instead I get tongue in my ear. AWESOME. I digress . . .
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH GUYS THESE DAYS???
For example, when you ask a woman out on a date, don't you want to take her out and show her a good time? I mean, if you enjoyed spending time with her, wouldn't you want to treat her to dinner? It simply blows my mind how people treat each other sometimes. And even if you didn't have a good time and could go on living your life perfectly fine if you never see this person again, at least have the common decency to pay for a dinner you invited her to. And if she did the inviting, then I guess there's nothing for her to really complain about is there? Is there ladies? Nope.
Speaking of a women asking a guy out, sometimes I think we independent, strong, feminism-ized women might actually be shooting ourselves in the foot and thus, I ponder:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH WOMEN THESE DAYS?!
Feminism is awesome and all, but in some ways it has caused men to become lazy. I mean, just because I have the ability pay for my own dinner, doesn't mean I don't think it's really nice that you want to be a gentleman and buy it for me. Ladies, let a guy buy you dinner--just chill, you deserve it. Gentlemen, man up and pay for her salad and bread sticks from Olive Garden already.
So what do you think? Who should pay on a first date?
Love,
Nik
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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