The End of an Era

Around my friends I am a rare breed. I'm approaching thirty and single. It didn't used to be this way. I remember nights of dancing till 2am to our favorite local bands, drunken walks home, a one night stand here or there, and laughter--lots and lots of laughter . . . and rum. Never forget the rum.

Now, it seems like the end of an era, and perhaps I'm just feeling reflective today after a night on the town where the vibe was just different. Our favorite bands just aren't the same, the walks home are shorter, and I'm pretty sure I've outgrown the one night stand (a girl's heart can only take so much of that crap until she finds it's time to grow up and become the woman who has needs, but knows they can't all be fulfilled in the fleeting arms of a stranger).

Anyway, there's still laughter and dancing. It's just different. I like the difference. My girlfriends now have boyfriends, whom I love and have become a part of my life too--kind of like a family. We all still go out and dance until 2am and have a good time. It's just a different time now.

When I was walking home last night with my (coupled) friends and our other single gal friend, my friend says to me, "You know, the first time I knew that things just weren't right between J and I was when I saw those two together." *Ahead of us, "those two" were in engaged in a tickle/giggle/snowball fight--and they've been dating for nearly 3 years.*

I totally agreed. Totally.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not searching for anyone. I don't feel like anything is missing anymore. I am OK. I am growing as a person and I am living here, in this moment. However, seeing those two and how they make things work (even when shit gets hard) and how serendipitously this man came into my friend's life, and how beautiful their relationship truly is, well . . . it just makes me be really at peace with the whole relationship thing, you know? It doesn't necessarily give me hope . . . 'cause I'm not "hoping" for anything. It simply makes me happy for them and in fate(?) in general. Sometimes, I get a little discouraged when it seems that the really good shit happens to the shittiest people and those who deserve a break get the shaft, but then I remind myself to open my eyes and look at what is right in front of me.

I am so thankful for the wonderful, beautiful people in my life . . . not only for the love and support they give me, but for what they show me without even knowing it.

I bet you know people like that too, huh?

Much Love,
Nik